In Stripperland, showgirls are usually the girls at the top of their game. To
be a showgirl, you have to be hot and have a good stage show. If you have won a
title such as Miss Nude, Miss Centrefold or Miss Penthouse, you’re almost
guaranteed to receive the perks of being a showgirl. These perks include clubs
paying you to visit or do your shows, as they advertise your presence to help
get customers through the door, and generally being treated like a star.
Unfortunately, being treated like a star, being at the top of the game and having a huge disposable income can get to some people, and thus divas are born.
Unfortunately, being treated like a star, being at the top of the game and having a huge disposable income can get to some people, and thus divas are born.
Of course, not all showgirls have a diva complex. And not
all strippers have to be a showgirl in order to develop a diva complex. And
most strippers are really friendly and approachable. But being a showgirl is
definitely a huge predisposing factor, kind of like diabetes and cardiovascular
disease.
At my home club (the club I work in most regularly), we have
a new showgirl. Normally a showgirl can at least fake being classy, but this
special lady who I affectionately refer to as Potty Mouth is one of the most
loudmouthed bogans I’ve ever met.
New management brought her with them, in stark contrast to the huge refurbishment and ‘classier’ image they are attempting to create for the club.
Potty Mouth is friendly enough to the other dancers, however the other girls aren’t quite sure how to handle her. She appears to have no filter between her brain and her mouth, and spends an unseemly amount of time telling people she’s glad she’s now a showgirl, she’s not a stripper she’s a showgirl, and threatening the bar staff that if they don’t show more cleavage, management will fire them – and she knows, because she’s a showgirl!
Potty Mouth also can’t hustle and instead relies upon the shows that management reserve for her. Her idea of a seduction is to yell at someone “Don’t be a fuckin' pussy, grab my tits!” She has no title, no stage skills, and thinks she’s talented because she does more extreme shows than anyone else in the club. What she doesn’t advertise is that she does the more extreme shows because she’s the only registered sex worker in the club, and it would be illegal for the rest of us to allow clients to fuck us with a dildo on stage. I do feel for Potty Mouth, as while she’s clearly not the brightest girl in the club, she enjoys the work. The new management have put her in a really awkward situation that’s bound to blow up eventually.
New management brought her with them, in stark contrast to the huge refurbishment and ‘classier’ image they are attempting to create for the club.
Potty Mouth is friendly enough to the other dancers, however the other girls aren’t quite sure how to handle her. She appears to have no filter between her brain and her mouth, and spends an unseemly amount of time telling people she’s glad she’s now a showgirl, she’s not a stripper she’s a showgirl, and threatening the bar staff that if they don’t show more cleavage, management will fire them – and she knows, because she’s a showgirl!
Potty Mouth also can’t hustle and instead relies upon the shows that management reserve for her. Her idea of a seduction is to yell at someone “Don’t be a fuckin' pussy, grab my tits!” She has no title, no stage skills, and thinks she’s talented because she does more extreme shows than anyone else in the club. What she doesn’t advertise is that she does the more extreme shows because she’s the only registered sex worker in the club, and it would be illegal for the rest of us to allow clients to fuck us with a dildo on stage. I do feel for Potty Mouth, as while she’s clearly not the brightest girl in the club, she enjoys the work. The new management have put her in a really awkward situation that’s bound to blow up eventually.
My next favourite diva is Parrot.
Parrot doesn’t work in any of my clubs anymore, which is a welcome relief. Her special talent was annoying everyone in the club. Parrot is the only person I know of who has managed to piss of the door girl, the bar staff and security before setting foot in the change room. She’d yell and snap her fingers at anyone who wasn’t a client to bring her a drinks waitress, carry her bags, or do other things for her. She’d open her bag in the middle of the change room floor and spread her stuff so that no one could walk into/around the change room without stepping on it. She was rude. She was hot. She could hustle. She broke all the rules. And she got under Amazon’s skin.
Amazon is a huge, fit, tank of a woman with a temper. Parrot is a tiny, loud, fit girl with a drug problem. When their egos collided, something was bound to happen.
I was in a lap dance one night, when suddenly someone started screeching. It sounded like a parrot was being raped (hence the nick name Parrot). Amazon had finally snapped.
Amazon used Parrot's hair to pull her off a client mid lap dance and throw her across a room. It wasn’t much of a fight, as Parrot’s only defence seemed to be rupturing tympanic membranes. However it was an awkward few minutes while security arrived to pull the girls apart. Both were sent home, but only Amazon was allowed to return. Apparently assaulting another stripper was still less drama than everything Parrot had done.
Parrot doesn’t work in any of my clubs anymore, which is a welcome relief. Her special talent was annoying everyone in the club. Parrot is the only person I know of who has managed to piss of the door girl, the bar staff and security before setting foot in the change room. She’d yell and snap her fingers at anyone who wasn’t a client to bring her a drinks waitress, carry her bags, or do other things for her. She’d open her bag in the middle of the change room floor and spread her stuff so that no one could walk into/around the change room without stepping on it. She was rude. She was hot. She could hustle. She broke all the rules. And she got under Amazon’s skin.
Amazon is a huge, fit, tank of a woman with a temper. Parrot is a tiny, loud, fit girl with a drug problem. When their egos collided, something was bound to happen.
I was in a lap dance one night, when suddenly someone started screeching. It sounded like a parrot was being raped (hence the nick name Parrot). Amazon had finally snapped.
Amazon used Parrot's hair to pull her off a client mid lap dance and throw her across a room. It wasn’t much of a fight, as Parrot’s only defence seemed to be rupturing tympanic membranes. However it was an awkward few minutes while security arrived to pull the girls apart. Both were sent home, but only Amazon was allowed to return. Apparently assaulting another stripper was still less drama than everything Parrot had done.
Divas always seem to have a friend or two ‘on their side’.
Someone who tells them what they want to hear, and generally validates their
point of view. This adds to the drama that surrounds them.
I was recently visiting a club with a friend. I’ve worked at this club a few times, and it’s usually pretty friendly, however I was disturbed to find that my things kept getting moved from the corner of a bench where I put them. One night, one of the showgirls came in (late) and explained that it was her spot. So rather than start a scene, we moved over as much as we could to let her in (there’s not exactly a lot of room). Apparently this wasn’t enough, so when she moved my friend's stuff in front of her, my friend pointed out that if she just asked it would be fine, but touching her stuff wasn’t cool (it’s a pretty big no-no even).
Cue drama.
My friend was then ‘helpfully’ advised by one of Showgirl's fangirls that Showgirl had been at the club for ages, does good shows and is friends with all the managers, so it’s best to stay out of her way. My friend responded that we all had to use the bench space, and if she just asked before throwing my friend's stuff around, it would be fine. I then had the first hand pleasure of watching the fangirl start the gossip. It was like an episode of Mean Girls – or so I assume, as I’ve never actually watched an episode of Mean Girls. Every dancer that walked in got the goss about ‘how the new girl kept trying to take Showgirl’s spot’. One of the dancers also pointed out that we all have to use the bench and moving each other's stuff without asking isn’t really cool. But that wasn’t enough to stop the DJ from hearing about it, and asking my friend what had happened later that night.
As tempting as it is to glitter bomb her locker (yes, she has a locker too – but that’s not enough) it’s not worth the drama. Being friendly, staying out of trouble and not being a drama queen is what keeps me welcome in so many clubs without being a showgirl.
I was recently visiting a club with a friend. I’ve worked at this club a few times, and it’s usually pretty friendly, however I was disturbed to find that my things kept getting moved from the corner of a bench where I put them. One night, one of the showgirls came in (late) and explained that it was her spot. So rather than start a scene, we moved over as much as we could to let her in (there’s not exactly a lot of room). Apparently this wasn’t enough, so when she moved my friend's stuff in front of her, my friend pointed out that if she just asked it would be fine, but touching her stuff wasn’t cool (it’s a pretty big no-no even).
Cue drama.
My friend was then ‘helpfully’ advised by one of Showgirl's fangirls that Showgirl had been at the club for ages, does good shows and is friends with all the managers, so it’s best to stay out of her way. My friend responded that we all had to use the bench space, and if she just asked before throwing my friend's stuff around, it would be fine. I then had the first hand pleasure of watching the fangirl start the gossip. It was like an episode of Mean Girls – or so I assume, as I’ve never actually watched an episode of Mean Girls. Every dancer that walked in got the goss about ‘how the new girl kept trying to take Showgirl’s spot’. One of the dancers also pointed out that we all have to use the bench and moving each other's stuff without asking isn’t really cool. But that wasn’t enough to stop the DJ from hearing about it, and asking my friend what had happened later that night.
As tempting as it is to glitter bomb her locker (yes, she has a locker too – but that’s not enough) it’s not worth the drama. Being friendly, staying out of trouble and not being a drama queen is what keeps me welcome in so many clubs without being a showgirl.
So, as fun as these stories are, how do they relate to
paramedics?
I’m a student paramedic. Everytime I go on a placement, I’m
the new girl, the noob, the one who hasn’t finished learning or earned any
‘respect’ in the job yet. So if there’s a diva around, it’s almost a sure thing
that I’ll either get in their way or they’ll blow me off.
Anecdotally, IC paramedics seem to have a higher rate of divas than ALS. However flight paramedics seem to be the real showgirls of paramedic land, and I can see the similarities – they’re at the top of their game, in the public's eye, and a disproportionate number of them seem to be really, really good looking (thanks, Zoolander – your vernacular is astounding). I’m not saying that all flight paramedics have a diva complex, or that there’s not good reason for them to have it. What I am saying is that when you’re at the top of your game, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that being good at your job does not make you good to work with.
So I'm politely requesting that no matter what kind of paramedic or stripper you are, make sure you make some space for the newbie, and create a good reputation for yourself in the process.
Anecdotally, IC paramedics seem to have a higher rate of divas than ALS. However flight paramedics seem to be the real showgirls of paramedic land, and I can see the similarities – they’re at the top of their game, in the public's eye, and a disproportionate number of them seem to be really, really good looking (thanks, Zoolander – your vernacular is astounding). I’m not saying that all flight paramedics have a diva complex, or that there’s not good reason for them to have it. What I am saying is that when you’re at the top of your game, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that being good at your job does not make you good to work with.
So I'm politely requesting that no matter what kind of paramedic or stripper you are, make sure you make some space for the newbie, and create a good reputation for yourself in the process.
