"I couldn't do what you do"

“I couldn’t do what you do”

People say this to me all the time.
When I'm wearing combat boots, a stethoscope and horribly fitting placement clothes that identify me as a student paramedic, it's always said to me with respect.
Change it to six inch stilettos, designer lingerie and a killer smile, and it's usually (but not always) with discomfort or disdain.

So who am I?
Well… that’s none of your business. As much as I’d like to tell you, I really can’t for future employment reasons. You can call me Lucy, or Sarah, depending on what club I'm working in. This blog is part of my rebellion against the societal norms that stop me from being ‘out’ and is probably just an elaborate catharsis to help deal with all the secrets I have to keep from my friends. What I can tell you about myself is that I’m female, I’m in my mid-twenties, I live in Australia, I’m in the latter half of my paramedicine degree and I’m stripping my way through it.

So why aren’t I out if I want to be? Because it’s not worth it. Because a large portion of society still thinks that exchanging nudity for money is immoral, that women who take their clothes off don’t have any self respect and therefore don’t deserve respect, that I’m just an attention seeking whore with Daddy issues and a drug addiction who likes the cash. Because I don't want to be the next Harmony Rose. To quote a girl in my class whose friends had recently visited a strip club – “You’d have to be sooooo fucked up to be a stripper!” My objections to this idea were met with a long string of ‘reasons’ why women have to be fucked up to be strippers. What she couldn’t see is how it was actually a long list of reasons why she wouldn’t do well as a stripper.
Of course, she had no idea that I’m a stripper. If she did, knowing would change her opinion of me, not her opinion of strippers. Unfortunately, that kind of fervent belief is really difficult to talk through logically. And I don’t want to work with that.

Another question I get asked a lot is how can I, as a woman who believes in equal rights, be a stripper? This is usually followed up with statements about how it’s demeaning to the women involved, how it’s an abuse of my sexuality to manipulate men, how it has no useful function in society [with an implication that it is therefore a waste of time/money/effort], etc.

So to deal with the first part, that it’s demeaning to women.
I chose this job. I enjoy it. Like any job (including paramedicine), it has its ups and downs, good nights and bad nights, and the differences between the two are usually the clients. What I find demeaning is all the men who walk in and tell me that I deserve better, that I don’t need to do this to get by, all with an underlying implication that I’m doing this out of desperation. I work because I have to – we all do. I strip because I choose to. And no, you can’t make choices about what I should and shouldn’t do with my body, because the assumption that I can’t choose for myself is demeaning. As is the condescending tone used when they try to ‘save’ me. We have a name for these guys – white knights.
Paramedics get called ‘drivers’ all the time. After doing a degree in 'How to save your life and/or make you feel better', that can be really condescending. But even when someone doesn’t take your skills seriously, you still don’t get the uncomfortable ‘Oh. Well I guess you have to do what you have to do’ talk, followed by the fervent ‘What else do you do?’ in which they try to redeem you by acknowledging you're not JUST a paramedic.

The second point, that it’s an abuse of my sexuality to manipulate men.
I’m really against women who use their sexuality to manipulate men. That said, I’m also totally for a place where men can go to live out the stripper fantasy. There are many reasons why men end up in a strip club. Loneliness, fun, the desire to gaze upon and be close to a beautiful woman, these are all completely legitimate desires. However, acting out these fantasies in a public place is not always appropriate. So why not have a place people can live out these fantasies with willing and paid participants? If an old man who hasn’t seen a vagina in 20 years wants to give me money to gaze lovingly at mine while telling me how beautiful I am, I’d much rather this transaction happen in a safe place with a willing participant than with some terrified girl on the street.

And lastly, that it has no useful function in society.
Neither does an X-box, but I don’t see anyone campaigning councils to ban those in their towns. Or bankers. Or lawyers. Or any other morally questionable profession (except sex workers, but you know, add sex to a job and suddenly it's immoral). As a paramedic, I provide medical care and help relieve suffering. As stripper, I provide entertainment, company, fantasy, and you’d be surprised at how often I help relieve suffering. 

Although they are miles apart, it’s almost astounding how much Stripperland has in common with Amboland. This is what I actually want to talk about. There are plenty of blogs, articles, and debates that can be easily found online logically outlining why stripping (and sex work) IS moral, ethical and deserving of respect. I'm not here to argue that. If you think otherwise, I think you're an idiot. I'm here to talk about how much stripping and paramedicine have in common, because I sure as hell wasn't expecting it and I'm sure a lot of other people aren't either.

Although there are no laws (that I know of) protecting client privacy in a strip club, I consider my clients' privacy to be just as valuable as my patients' privacy, and so all the stories I write about are going to remain as anonymous as I am.