Imagine this...

Imagine this.

It's summer and you're working in a small town where the club has it's own accommodation for dancers. The accommodation is really nice. It's a gorgeous house surrounded by an 8 foot concrete fence, making it very private. It has huge verandas, luxurious outdoor furniture, an immaculately kept pool with a villa next to it.
It's mid afternoon and you have dragged yourself out of bed, into the pool, as do the other girls. It's private, and you've all performed faux cunnilingus on each other anyway, so everyone is naked. Girls are sun tanning, fake boobs are floating in the water. Bottoms pop up as girls dive. It occurs to you that this is the stuff that wet dreams and playboy fantasies are made of.
Except for one thing...

EVERYONE. CAN'T. STOP. FARTING.


These lithe water nymphs are farting in front of each other and laughing when it smells bad. Sneaking up on each other in the water and letting go of depth chargers. Discussing customers we have farted on over the years (One girl deliberately farts on guys because she thinks it makes them get a longer dance) and generally just being grotty human beings. It's glorious!

Sometimes it's only one or two girls with the toots. Sometimes it's all of us.
Once you've changed a tampon and checked the string in front of your workmates, then stood in front of the mirror and checked yourself for stray toilet paper, got close and personal with sweaty ladies and their odours, farts just aren't a big deal anymore. Being up all night is rough, so when you wake up manners aren't a high priority. Being comfortable is. And having a giggle is a bonus.

So there's no lesson to this post folks. Just an insight into what strippers really get up to in our time off.

TOOT TOOT!